the questions, observations, laments, psalms, classic anecdotes, prayers, & stories of jeremiah aja. enjoy it like a sweaty plastic cup filled with strawberry lemonade & crushed ice.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

confessions, part 4

I hate Chipotle Mexican Grill. They're all over Sacramento, CA and I know of one nearby here in Lexington, KY. As a restaurant, it is one that anytime it is mentioned, I must hold back and not outwardly make the cringing disgust face. For about 7 years, I have felt this way; I really hate the Chipotle restaurant. I have many reasons to support this harsh statement, eight in fact. They may seem irrational to you, which is fine, but know that my hatred is not flippant or seeded in some kind of "I had a real bad experience there one time." I didn't at all, which I suppose is a positive.
In spite of my rock solid reasons and loathing, I have gone several times with friends or family. It's pretty hard for me to turn down hangout. Oh sure, I may try and steer the hangout to a different locale, but when the Sacramento masses speak, especially after a Sunday church service, I am ALWAYS outnumbered. In fact, I am perfectly aware that I am in the minority opinion on this one, and it may seem a bit pathetic. And???
Here's the eight reasons, kept for about 3 years on a hard drive, supporting my stance:

1) The indoor tables are bolted to the floor. You can't move them closer together. How anti-community is that?
2) There is not communal salsa bar anywhere. If you want salsa, you have to get it when you order your food. As a low blow, their salsa selection is minimal (I think 3 choices) and not much for taste/spice. Once again, anti-community. The salsa bar convo is almost as much fun as the salad bar convo- both are on the verge of enjoying a great meal together.
3) Chips and salsa cost extra. What?! In a Mexican restaurant you have to pay extra for chips and salsa? Aren't they FREE in every other Mexican food place I've been before??? Exactly. Yep, as if you weren't already overspending. Which leads me to...
4) Overpriced, very overpriced food.
5) Very small portions. They use one scoop of chicken/beef for THREE tacos. Most of the taco ends up being lettuce.
6) They use PURPLE onions in guacamole. Unheard of. Huge Mexican culinary foul here.
7) White rice with cilantro as a side dish? Two horrible things about this- a) if you are attempting a Mexican style of food, steamed white rice is the last side dish you would use. (Cuban, perhaps) Cream corn makes about as much sense. b) that's not cilantro, that's parsley. I am 99% sure of it. You can't smell the cilantro at all, which is a pretty potent leaf. There's nothing Mexican about steamed rice and parsley.
8) Coffeeshop tunes play on an overhead sound system. Distractingly Loud. With a pitiful and puzzling song selection. It really rounds out the whole dining experience. Oh wait, nope. It doesn't.

Confession #4- I hate Chipotle Mexican Grill. I am not sorry about it either.

from wilmore, with Love.


...Kevin said...

I've never been there, and thanks to this, I never will. As far as I'm concerned #1 is the deal-breaker and the rest were just to boot.

Justin said...

Thank goodness for Moe's!!!!

Laurie J. said...

Poor Jeremiah.
I will gladly eat your share of the guacamole with red onions BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME!!!

rogueminister said...

Have you been to Qdoba? They dont have free chips and salsa but they have the best burritos ever.

jeremiah said...

moes = subpar, sorry
qdoba = acceptable but inferior

California, and San Diego especially, Mexican food is where its at.
gimme some Tex-Mex anyday.
Preferably, Austin and below is where it's at there.

ALTHOUGH- Fiesta Mexico in Nickyvee has been quite tasty a few times.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Yes and YeS to #1 ....THE most annoying thing, ever. ..

"hey, friends, let's sit down here, and eat....oh wait, friend number 5 and 6, there are only 4 chairs here, and we can't move these tables together, so, go sit amongst your own 2 selves"

am I right??!!? SO right ... that is exactly what goes down.

preach it, brother!



Organic Meatbag said...

Chipotle is just another flavor of the day...way will soon go the way of Leisure Suits and powdered wigs...