the questions, observations, laments, psalms, classic anecdotes, prayers, & stories of jeremiah aja. enjoy it like a sweaty plastic cup filled with strawberry lemonade & crushed ice.

Friday, September 28, 2007

so I was thinking the other day

Just recently I was in a bathroom of a friend’s work building. We were at the KET (Kentucky Educational Television) office in Lexington. If you’d like to know why and would love to laugh so hard it hurts, check this out, but jump back into the story here when you’re done. You wont believe it, I literally mean that.

In this particular bathroom, above one of the urinals was a sign. It was quite obviously made by one the office workers and then poorly scotch taped above it, unlaminated I might add, reading,
PLEASE “FLUSH” THE URINAL The sign had an arrow pointing down to the urinal. Apparently, someone thought that men lose focus very easy in the bathroom or something. But my eyes were even more drawn to the quotations marks on the word FLUSH. I bet I looked way perplexed right then. Are those quotations really necessary? I guess someone actually may have thought that they were. But still, I was almost arguing with the person highly skilled in Microsoft Word 2007 that was able to put it in, dare I say it, LANDSCAPE format - Why are those there?

Now, I would say that I am not a highly US traveled person. I have not been apart of any bands that had nation wide tours, I have only lived in four states in my life, and I didn’t need to do the massive road trip in my early 20’s in order to “find myself” – though that would have been pretty cool. But, last I recalled, EVERYWHERE I have been in my life, “flushing” the toilet was always “flushing” the toilet. There was no alternate word(s). No slang. No alternate pronuncitions. It seems to me that no matter where you go, the only words to explain “flush” are…flush. I haven’t been to all of these places, but…Augusta, ME – flush. Seattle, WA – flush. Austin, TX – flush. Wilmore, KY – flush. Miami, FL – flush. Sacramento, CA – flush.

There is just no slang for the word flush. Just about everything else in a bathroom has a slang word though. Toilet paper can be TP. The toilet can be a commode, the head, the john, the stool. Urine can be pee-pee, tinkle, wizz, and few select others that may be a bit PG-13. And then there's, well, um...I’ll keep this a family blog before we head down other roads and even venture into the other main things involved in the whole bathroom process.
But again, there is only one way, just one word, a sole five-letter word to communicate the clearing of the toilet from its latest acquisition. And, I have come to the sobering and slightly bizarre conclusion, at least thus far in my life, that there is just no other words for “FLUSH”.

I could be severely wrong though. If I am, please reveal the truth.

From Wilmore, with Love.


jason said...

hmmm....I've always called it flush - why are there no other words for it, but so many for other bathroom functions?

commode always struck me as funny. my grandmother always said it and made me giggle like a little girl.

i am giggling right now.


Chris said...

we should hold a contest to see how many new slang terms we could invent to take place of the word "flush."

My first entry: "Squidge"

Kelly said...

I gotta say... I know no other words.

but I DO love that picture.

Jeremiah said...

i love both of those words

hilarious...let the giggling resume.

Michael said...

Ya gotta love any story that starts out, "so the other day I was in the bathroom thinking...".

I mean it's like, there are so many possibilities being opened up.

Also, at Arcade Wesleyan we don't necessarily have an alternate word for "flush" but sometimes we do say, "Hey dude, get rid of your junk!"

Jeremiah said...

Mike - There was this one time, i heard this story, about somebody who had to rid of someone else's junk...

seriously though, love the 2 comments in the past two posts...then of course, you probably are fond of 2 posts in the past 3 months, huh?

miss ya bro.

Eric said...

In eastern Canada I have heard the word "flush" used to describe the commode (giggle) itself. I have not, however, heard another word used to describe the getting rid of said stuff.

Laurie J. said...

Like my good friend, Lindsay, I am too refined to comment on any reference to a bathroom whatsoever.

Brooke said...

How cool that you were thinking the other day and someone snapped a photo of you thinking... coincidence??? I think not!

Papa_McF said...

Well according to all these; cleanse, douche, drench, eject, expel, flood, hose, inundate, rinse, swab, wash - and synonymns for the word "flush".

I myself am found of; Please "expel" the toilet.

Also to me, inundate doesn't make much sense, that's what you do to the toilet after an all you can eat buffet.

The LeRoys said...

Here's some more strange bathroom lingo for ya... when Sarah and I were first dating, I was at her parents' house (only my second trip). At dinner one evening, I felt an intensely sharp pain in my side... so intensely sharp that I passed out at the table! I came to, but abrubtly passed out a second time! Everyone was freaking out! Once everything calmed down, and they laid me out on the couch, Sarah's dad, ever the respectable gentleman, discreetly approached me with his theory for the incident. He politely and quietly asked me if I had been able to "eliminate" recently. I had no clue what he meant. After a few awkward moments I finally put it together. It was the first time I had ever heard of that term. But, of course, it has since become a favorite.

Paige said...

May I say I LOVE reading your blog! Especially because I can totally hear you saying each word, with the exact emphasis. That's what's so great about when you preach. You are "preaching" at the audience, but sharing.
All to say, YEY for Christmas and being able to hear more crazy stories about monkeys in your backyard (I really hope that was you or that was a totally random comment), Jax in the snow, and of course "flush"...
:) :) :)

Jeremiah said...

LOVE the eliminate story, classic.
LOVE that you can hear my voice, that is my intention, no question.

Except, i suppose, if that was really my intention, i would just record myself - 3rd grade style.